A Habit once lost, is not lost forever

Some drugs aren't loyal to you and only you.

I love my girlfriend.

I love her just so, so much that I fail to put my feelings into words no matter what language I profess it in. I just love my girlfriend that much.

Though it would be a shame to move further without even letting you have a glimpse of what a heavenly aura surrounds her so as I have hardships in professing love for her I’ll just describe her to you as I see her – how my eyes comprehend her.

When she walks through my door it’s like all the light bows down to greet an even greater illumination to whom they owe respect to. When she steps inside my threshold, all the darkness and negativity runs in fear for she is too bright for them to even be near. The odors that might have existed before shudder and vanish as her sweet honey fragrance spreads throughout the room enveloping everyone with the warmth they never thought would be so kind.

Her eyes hold the sky itself, they are just so blue and clear; her hair, so luscious and long, sways in the wind. She walks in a proud manner holding her head up, bearing all the troubles of the world on her shoulders. She has a dignified air surrounding her. Her each stride is slow and calculated, she wastes not a single resource.

With each step she takes towards me a fresh wind blows and cleanses my soul. Finally, when her cherry blossom lips touch my rugged cheeks I close my eyes and I can only imagine this to be heaven.

I just love her so much.

Though… I do wish I could say the same for her.

No, no it’s not that she hates me. She loves me as well… but she hates one of my habits.

And that is of me smoking.

Argh, smoking! This habit is the only thing I have had before I even met her. All the rest I forsake and sacrificed to meet and be with her but this was one habit that I kept with me for it had helped me through so much but when I got her as a drug it was a dose like none other. Not even smoking was comparable to the emotions and sentiments she produced in me and the utter delight and happiness she spread through my heart and body alike with just a single word or touch.

Now you must wonder that if I do love her so much then I should just give up smoking and get married to her. Ha well boy I wish that was true because I did. I did. I did. I really did.

The problem lies in the fact that I did but unfortunately she wasn’t patient enough to wait.

Before I could go and show her my cigarette free blood reports I saw that she had found someone else to platonically love.

She had forced him to the floor and was kissing him passionately. I silently watched through the window and left within a few minutes.

I threw the reports in the bin and lighted a cigarette and pondered over the fact that:

What I had lost that I regained.

What I left for her is what in the end gave me the salvation I needed.

The irony truly.

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