Can You Really Blame Your Horoscope For Everything Wrong In Your Life

So there I was having a perfectly normal conversation with a classmate when, all of a sudden, she went all astrological on me.

There were no warning signs at all. She had no dangly zodiac earrings nor a zodiac necklace hanging around her neck. We were just talking for several minutes about something in her life, going over the various sides to it and enjoying the typical give-and-take that accompanies a nice chat. Then she looked like “THAT” in my head.

“I really see both sides of an issue, so I have a hard time having a strong opinion,” she said. “I blame it on my sign.”

For the record, this girl is a Virgo. For those of you saying, “Well, of course she’s a Virgo; she has a hard time having a strong opinion,” I have a question for you: Aren’t there boundaries for when you bring up astrology into normal conversations?

The words “horoscope” and “horoscopes” have always been among the most searched words on Google, so I get that people really love horoscopes.

But do followers of astrology really say things like, “…then I discovered he was a Capricorn and, well, I still haven’t found my phone.”

For those of us who think astrology is silly and even a little foolish, and I suspect we’re in the minority, it’s not that big of a deal when somebody you know is kind of an astrology freak.

It wouldn’t have surprised me one bit if President “Sisi” had said, “I looked into his heart; he’s a good man. Plus, he’s a Libra,” about Russian President “Putin”.

When people I know and like start using astrology in the middle of a general conversation, it’s a little weird. Am I really supposed to follow what they’re saying?

Let’s assume you’re a Libra..hmm… I am, what a great example then, right? For just a minute, say you missed a meeting because you tripped in a puddle of water, got all muddy and of course you had to go home and change. You couldn’t very well go to your meeting like that now, could you?

Was this your fault? of course NOT! It was because Mercury was in retrograde and Leo was lapping your VA JAY JAY.

How could you possibly make it to your meeting? What about the presentation that didn’t go so well the other day?

Was that your fault? I think NOT; it was because Scorpio was too damn close to Virgo, while Aquarius and Mars were playing around Capricorn…. How could that possibly be my fault?

This is for all people who call out me and my best friend for being too trusting with horoscopes. I live for mercury’s retrograde!