If you’re here in a panic after searching google to understand what you feel, take a deep breath. Calm down. If you’re here simply because you’ve taken an academic or otherwise interest in knowing about sexualities, congratulations; you’ve taken the first step to not only knowledge but acceptance about the existence of a variety of sexualities.
Before I begin to delve into the information, there’s something I’d like you to know:
It’s okay. It is perfectly normal to feel differently from what you’ve been taught or told to feel. You do not have to fit into the mold society has built for you.
It’s okay to question your sexuality and to explore it. Together, you and I will make this world a place we can all safely and responsibly explore our sexuality. Until then, know that this is a safe place for you, and that there are people all over the world who are or have been in the same position as you. Those people are reachable, and most of them are willing to help you out, because they’ve either had to learn everything on their own, or someone allowed them their right to question their sexual identity.
The world will discriminate against you. When you leave that metaphorical closet, people will hurl words at you and it will be worse than being injured by literal knives because you’ll keep replaying those words and think there is something wrong with you. You need to be prepared for them to hurt you because they will.
That doesn’t mean it is okay. That means we need to change them, but not you. There is absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal about you, in general, there’s no right or wrong about varying sexualities, they just are. Your feelings are valid, they deserve recognition and respect.
Sexuality can be thought of as the sexual feelings, thoughts, behavior, perception, and preference toward other people. Finding people attractive – and that too on a variety of the spectrum – is a part of our sexuality. It is personal, deep, and none of anyone’s business but the person who identifies with said sexuality. Someone’s sexuality is a crucial and unchangeable part of who they are, but this doesn’t mean that they can’t feel differently about being attracted to specific people, or change their mind about who they prefer.
Heterosexual or straight are people who are attracted to the opposite gender than their own. A male would like a female and vice versa.
Some people are attracted to the same gender as their own. This is called homosexuality; men who like men are identified as gay, and women who like women are known as lesbians.
Then, there are individuals who find themselves drawn to both males and females. Such individuals are known as bisexuals. Now, if you’re attracted to both male and females, but feel yourself leaning towards one, which works just as well. If you’re only practicing sexual intercourse with one of them – remember safe sex, kids – but prefer relationships with another, that too is perfectly normal.
The term pansexual refers to people who find themselves attracted to all genders, pan being literally translated to “all.” The gender, sexuality, or sex of their significant other can be anything at all.
Asexual individuals don’t experience sexual attraction towards anyone, although this is subjective to what type of asexual you are. Sometimes, asexual folks need a strong emotional attachment or bond with someone to establish feelings of sexual intimacy.
Regardless of what you may identify as, what you feel towards other people, remember your feelings are valid. So what if you don’t even fit into any of the types of sexualities? Don’t ever feel pressured to pick one thing, or conform to what others expect of you. Just because someone doesn’t understand your sexuality, you’re not obligated to make them understand it. They are meant to support whatever you feel – unless you’re a pedophile – before they even fully understand it, because guess what?
Your feelings are yours, and you don’t really have a choice in who you prefer as a sexual partner, because that’s just the way you are!