Going through sexual assault is unfortunately a very common phenomenon in the world.
These are the cases that are reported. Most cases of sexual assault go unreported, especially when the victim is a child due to lack of knowledge of what has happened. These victims grow into part shattered part concrete individuals. And sometimes they won’t be told what needs to be told for them to understand the situation they went through.
Healing is a psychological journey and one needs to know just the right map to reach a point that makes a people with a sexually abusive childhood peaceful in their own skin.
It’s not your fault. Accepting is the first step towards healing.
Children will never understand what an inappropriate touch, unsolicited kissing, nudity, pornography, or rape may have meant. But they’ll be disgusted. They won’t feel comfortable under their own skin. And it’ll attack their self-worth. They’ll think it’s their fault they’ve been feeling this way.
When they grow up, they’ll understand what happened. They’ll start denying. They’ll go numb. And that’s when it’ll hit them: it happened.
And that will be the first step towards healing.
If the skirts, shorts, short frocks scare you, you don’t need to wear them.
You’ll feel an area exposed around your upper thigh and you won’t resist the urge to full your frock to hide your skin. You’ll fight with your mom and tell her that you don’t want to wear that short dress. You’ll hate a deep necked shirt. You’ll hate walking in a short shirt in a room full of the same gender as your assaulter.
But you also need to understand that you’ve got the power to overcome this fear. You have the power to survive now. Don’t let clothing scare you.
The reality won’t change. But know what’s real and what’s not.
You went through it, it really did happen. That’s reality.
You’re impure now. You’re can’t accept yourself now. That’s not.
There will be triggers, but you can fight them.
There will be things that will remind you of your assaulter, and you’ll start hating them. You’ll hate beards if he had a beard. You’ll hate obesity if she was obese. You’ll hate any place that looked anything like where it happened. You won’t be a critical thinker in some respects and you’ll realize you have certain biases because of what happened.
But you need to realize that you are greater than your biases and that one experience doesn’t define you. You have so many more experiences to build yourself over.
And some people will tell you things that put you down.
“These things happen, get over it”
“Don’t wear that dress again”
“Your life must be ruined?”
The road to self-healing can be a very lonely journey because only you knew what it was like.
It’s YOUR story to tell.
No one can tell you to shut up or speak up. It’s your story, it happened to you. If the silence empowers you, let it. If speaking up empowers you, let it. The point is, do what empowers you.
Crawl out of that position of weakness you think has been a life sentence because you’ve been through the tempest and survived.
You’re a survivor, weakness was never your thing.