Understanding your Anger (Part-3)

Anger Management

Continuation: Anger Management Series

Introduction: Part-1
Why is it Needed: Part-2

To make the future better we need to learn from the past. As such to understand how we should control our anger we need to understand the underlying causes of our anger.

Anger problems often stem from what you’ve learned as a child. If you watched others in your family scream, hit each other, or throw things, you might think this is how anger is supposed to be expressed. Traumatic events and high levels of stress can make you more susceptible to anger as well.

Another reason can be that we use anger as a concealer. During makeup we apply concealer to hide our true complexion or pimples and such –our true face or so to say. Similarly,

ANGER, an emotion much louder, stronger and significant emotion is often used as a concealer to hide our other feeling which may portray us as weak or someone who requires help. We try to hide behind a force we think portrays us as someone independent and strong, someone who can stand on their own two feet without anyone’s support (which is clearly not the case).

Keeping in mind the end goal to express your anger in proper ways, you should be in contact with what you are truly feeling. Is your anger, in reality, concealing different emotions, for example, humiliation, weakness, getting harmed, disgrace, or helplessness?

If your instinctive reaction to any situation, issue or problem is anger, it’s quite reasonable to conclude that your temper is actually there to bottle up your true feelings. This is especially likely if you grew up in a family where expressing feelings was strongly discouraged. As a grown-up, you may experience serious difficulties recognizing and expressing emotions other than anger. Anger can also be a symptom of underlying health problems, such as depression, trauma, or chronic stress.

Usually, anger is not only what meets the eyes. There lie some underlying feelings and issues that torment your inner conscience or soul and you release the buildup of this tension in the form of anger.

To begin to control a beast as strong as anger you need to first understand what the monster is made of or how it came to be. As such begin by asking yourself a few questions, do “you” do these, to understand your anger more and begin to work on it. Questions may include:

  • You experience considerable difficulties bargaining or finding a compromise. Is it difficult for you to comprehend other individuals’ perspectives, and significantly harder to yield a point? On the off chance that you experienced childhood in a family where anger was the norm, you may recall how the irate individual got his or her way by being the loudest and generally most demanding. Compromising for you might bring to mind terrifying sentiments of disappointment and helplessness.
  • You experience difficulty communicating feelings other than anger. Do you pride yourself on being strong and in charge? Do you feel that feeling like dread, blame, or disgrace don’t make a difference to you? Everybody has those feelings so you might utilize anger as a cover for them.
  • You view different opinions as a personal challenge. Do you trust that your way is constantly right and get furious when others oppose this idea? If you have a strong need to be in control or a fragile ego, you may interpret other perspectives as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.

Take a step today and the road to understanding and controlling anger will not seem so long. Begin today and benefit tomorrow.

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