Divorce is an option

America has the highest divorce rates, damn. That’s bad.
Back home, they’re super low. Our married couples stay with each other no matter what!

They say it like having low divorce rates is an accomplishment. The reason divorce rates “back home” are so low is because of societal expectations that force women to stay with their husbands. Lack of access to domestic abuse assistance, stigma surrounding single motherhood, lack of financial independence all contribute to this.

‘Our grandparents stayed married for 50 years, even though they went through all sorts of thick and thin, grandma never left his side.’

Your grandma got beaten, cheated on or what not and she still stayed because she had to not because she wanted to. Trust me, if it wasn’t for the shameful glares that she could’ve gotten after she was a divorcee or the insult she would’ve gone through if she came back to her parent’s place because she was unable to ‘sustain’ her married life, she would have never compromised her everything for her excuse of a husband.

Even now in immigrant communities in the Diaspora, the stigma around divorced women is so high that they end up staying in abusive marriages. Divorce rates got higher in the U.S because it got easier for women to leave. When that happens back home our divorce rates will rise too.

The romanticized idea of women staying with their husbands “no matter what” is so damaging, toxic, and abusive.

staying in the same house

Just because she’s a woman and is more ‘understanding’ she’ll face everything? No.
A woman with seven kids and a husband who doesn’t complain is seen as “wife goals” but really, it’s her all alone raising the kids on her own and who knows, the husband a trash alcoholic. When she thinks of leaving, wait! How can she even think of that? She’s supposed to bear this. Bravely. Why? Because women are the weakest earthlings. Right?
And how can she leave? She will be discarded from the society! She’s going to be thrown away. How will she survive?
All these thoughts would kill her before she even hopes to do something about it.

My grandparents were married for 40 years, all I am saying is there’s always room for exceptions, but wrong is wrong, even if it is one percent.


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