It is well known that parents always want the best for their children, and it is, undoubtedly, true. No parent wants their child to suffer at the hand of the society or in any way, as a matter of fact. They do everything they can to make us feel special and give us comfort and make our lives bearable. They help us grow, they teach us how to walk, what are the manners and rules to abide by while living in a society. In short, we are what we are because of them, because of how they brought us up.
What we also are today: under confident, in severe identity crisis, have no definite goal to achieve, are procrastinators, technology addicts, dependent on others (mainly our parents) in every imaginable way, have low self esteem and basically every negative aspect we possess is also a part of who we really are. The fault is not entirely of our parents, but we need to realize that they play a big role in this.
When we critic the factors that have affected us negatively, we usually, almost deliberately, neglect the contributions of the ones who brought us in this world, because we see it as their “ehsan”.
Reality check: we didn’t plan our birth, they did. We are not responsible to fulfill their unfulfilled dreams and achieve their un-achieved goals.
The concept we need to grasp is individuality. No two persons are same, be it a father or a son, a mother or a daughter, or even two identical twins cannot be said be the same individuals. Each person has their own train of thought. They think differently, they perceive the world differently, they like and dislike different things based on their own experiences and perceptions.
The saddest thing a person can do in life; is to live someone else’s life. And it is basically what our parents impose upon us.
You will be a doctor! That was my dream, but my MCAT scores weren’t up to the mark. Now my son will fulfill my dream and make me proud.
But you don’t even like biology! Just to make your late father feel proud because of you, you choose to pursue a career in medicine, and become a doctor. Spending rest of your life practicing a career you don’t like or enjoy, but you don’t have any other choice, because that is all you struggled for in the life that was meant to be yours. This is not how things should be. Granted that there is a vast generation gap between us and them, which make our compatibility harder, but they are still human beings, with the mental capacity to analyze and rationalize a situation of crisis. They impose their dreams upon you, because you let them. Because you didn’t tell them that;
Dad, I don’t like biology. I am more interested in studying Math.
Things could have turned out well for you if you just had a little courage. This is how it might have gone; They would resist a little, in the beginning, but they will eventually succumb to your desires. There is no shame in accepting who you are and working on a path that will polish your abilities and focus your potential where it should be, where you want it to be. Parents don’t want anything bad to happen to you, you are their offspring, after all. You just need to understand them first, in order to make them understand you.
Then there is always a nice way to put forward your proposition. Remember, honesty is the best policy! Rest is up to you, how you want to spend your life, are you satisfied with where you see yourself in 10 years? If not, then get up, and do something to turn it around. Good luck and don’t worry about the Chittar (that might be a reward).