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Ghosting: The Toxic Dating Culture

Thanks to the memes and the internet, we are now part of this newly formed culture that extends beyond our geographical boundaries. This Meme Culture, as I like to call it, helps us find more emotionally unstable people like us.

But it’s true, our dating culture has evolved and we are victim to similar behavioral traits. Whether we are unconsciously adopting them or not, we do find ourselves going SAMEE or BIG MOOD, when we see something relatable.

One of the most emotionally damaging traits that people have latched onto is ghosting. It has become so common that it has a Wikipedia page as well!

First, let’s breakdown what ghosting really is.

Ghosting is one of the most annoying modern phenomena only when you are the victim otherwise it is the greatest way out. Ghosting is when someone goes “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” on you. When they stop answering your calls or texts without explanation making you feel like you are under some Invisibility Cloak. And, in some cases it might be the coolest thing, however, it hurts like a b*tch when it’s from someone you love.

People who get ghosted often feel disrespected, used and disposable. It feels like a massive punch in the gut. One of the most common side effects includes; paranoia, disappointment, worthlessness, can also lead to overthinking like some crazy psycho and depression.

But why does ghosting hurts so much??

Well, our brain can sometimes be our worst enemy. Being ghosted often triggers the part of the brain which feels physical pain and pain killers can really help reduce the pain.

However, apart from this, one thing that causes the real problem is the number of scenarios you can create inside your head. Since you have no information, you exhaust your brain overthinking about tiny details and drawing conclusions from it. Social cues help us figure out how to react in a certain situation but ghosting rips you off of that. Hence, leaving you emotionally vulnerable and distraught.

Why do people ghost then?

You must be wondering if it’s THAT hurtful then why do people ghost? Crudely put, lack of empathy. But there are reasons that extend beyond this as well.

Desi Culture

Growing up in a desi culture, you are never exposed to confrontations. We are so emotionally choked that we don’t know how to communicate if something bothers us. We are never taught how to say sorry or converse without getting heated. The lack of this makes ghosting easier as it is effortless.

Emotional beings are not cool

It is rather sad but we are raised on the notion that being vulnerable is not cool. We are taught that being sensitive makes you weak and we should all guard our defenses. Mostly because it is easier.

Lack of control

When things start slipping out of hands and you lose control, the easiest way to regain direction is by isolating yourself. As Nietzsche says that we try to rationalize things to give our selves a false sense of direction. Sometimes when things don’t make sense, we feel we can’t explain ourselves to the other person as well so isolating yourself feels like a great option.

Why go through the trouble?

When a generation feels like putting a condom it too much hassle, why would they go through this entire process of explaining themselves? In this fast-paced life, no one has time or energy to save someone the emotional trauma, y’know!!

Dear ghosters,

It sure is an easy way out but one should have the ability to think beyond themselves. If you are too caught up about how you feel, a simple text informing the other person that you need time off and promising them that you are okay never hurt anybody. You can take some time to think about how you feel and later communicate it to them.

Ghosting is hurtful and no one deserves feeling this way. At some point in time, you just have to grow the fuck up, you know.

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