Home or Hell: Things All Hostelites Will Relate To

You'll still feel like dying sometimes, but here's some humor to ease the pain!

If this author was a different person, she would tell you that the best part about hostel life will be meeting people and learning how to navigate this complicated maze that we call a hostel. She would tell you that hostel life is exciting and will supply you with the courage and wit you need to excel; something to ease the transition for you and help you cope with adult life before it even starts.

But this author doesn’t want to lie. Or raise your expectations.

Truth be told, unlike the beautiful depictions that fiction has supplied us with since our childhood (I’m looking at you Enid Blyton) hostel life isn’t always neat. It doesn’t mean midnight parties, exciting new people or binge-eating ice cream late into the night with a movie or a book to keep you company. Here are ten things that every hostelite will definitely relate to on a spiritual level.

The size or your room (or lack thereof).

Harry Potter who? The guy got a pretty decent room for free, why was he complaining? Meanwhile, you’re paying a fortune for a room the size of your closet at home. You’re almost afraid of running into the walls if you take more than two steps! Only if you could live for free in a fashionable cupboard under the stairs – life would be so good.

Mess food is the absolute worst.

It would be easier to criticize the taste of the food if it had any taste to it but you’re stuck eating it for the rest of your life, so can’t complain. Plus if you haven’t made a contest out of seeing who can eat all the food off their plate without a word, then are you really living in a hostel?

Your room will NEVER be clean no matter what you do.

If you wanted to go to a hostel simply because you were duped by a Pinterest-worthy dorm room then sorry guys. That sort of transformation only takes place if you’re the DIY kind of person who can make it all work or if you have a ton of cash at your disposal. Since most of us can’t even summon the energy to clean our room without needing a break every ten seconds, let’s just make our peace with the fact that this room is going to be messy no matter what.

Your relationship with your roommate is, well, complicated.

Whoever said sharing is caring obviously never had a roommate. Caring is establishing boundaries and making a compromise so you both have enough energy left for everyday tasks.

If your roommate doesn’t make you feel like you want to scoop their eyeballs out while simultaneously giving them a hug, then you’re obviously a healthy adult who is completely in touch with their emotions.

You might feel like killing them on a fine, sunny morning but you also need that shirt of theirs for that party and besides, in a homicide case, you’d definitely be the first suspect.

Getting sick doesn’t even affect you anymore.

You’ve got so much work to do that the common cold isn’t even a complication anymore. You casually use it as joke material in conversations with friends; laughing while picking up your dirty laundry off the floor. Your friends might be concerned for your health but you’ve understood that these common ailments are nothing but trivial, gone are the days when your parents used to get you some comfort food and blankets and proper medicine. You’re an adult now (but not really).

Maggi noodles cure everything.

Feeling hungry but don’t want to eat from the mess? Heartbroken? Sick? Sad? Maggi noodles are the answer to literally every problem in the universe ever. It’s not even the taste that makes you want to go back to eating a bowl full of noodles. It’s the feeling of being an adult, cooking your own food minus actually having to cook anything at all! Only setback? Your stomach will give up on your unhealthy eating habits soon enough.

No one can stop you from being awake till 3 AM.

That feeling of triumph when you realize you’re out from under the thumb of authority and can now do whatever you want, whenever you want! No parental guidance needed!

Watching money slip from between your fingers.

The saddest thing about living in a hostel is making a budget and sticking to it. You can either save a five hundred rupee note for a week or spend triple the amount in one day, ordering food online. Plus explaining your finances to your parents and rationalizing your habit of splurging once a week. Shudders.

These are just eight things from among thousands more that all hostelites will definitely relate to, no matter where they live. If you’re a veteran, you will probably laugh at these and move on like it’s nothing. If you’re someone who is just about to start life at a dorm then beware – lots of drama and excitement awaits you.

Crying and sadness too, but we’ll talk about that sometime else. This author wouldn’t want to scare the living wits out of you!


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