Nowadays relationships and friendships have become less about the entire group or the couple as a whole and more centered around the individual. This is surely a sign of the times where individual attainment and success is revered far more than anything a group may achieve.
This has something to do with how our societies have developed a culture of increased competition and “every man for himself” kinda attitude. The goal has somehow become to keep others down in order to build yourself up. This is wrong because all it does is alienate and isolate you from people who can provide you emotional support, love and this only increases social cohesion.
We all know that one really toxic friend, family member or loved on right? It seems like all they do is criticize your every move and are simply never happy with anything you do for them. However, it is never too late to learn to accept the fact that you might be the problem as well.
If you’re reading this right now and accept that you might be at fault, you’re already half way there. Congratulations, because the first step is always the hardest. Here are some ways to identify if you’re the toxic person that you try so hard to avoid.
You rarely listen to anyone’s problems or news but when you do, instead of being happy for them you end up being negative and pessimistic.
When ever you speak to others, most of it is criticism that is meant to dominate them and isn’t even constructive.
You have very few friends and are rely heavily on the ones you have but don’t reciprocate in terms of support.
You only contact people when you need help.
You have certain anxieties and insecurities that you project onto your loved ones and friends instead of dealing with them in a healthy or constructive way.
You often give advice to others and feel as if you play an important part by doing them this favour.
You think your way is the only right way.
You engage in some form of emotional blackmail to get things done your way.
You can identify when a relationship has become toxic for yourself or others but do not make any attempts to end it even though you call out others to do the same.
You feel as if you can do no wrong and only have other’s best interests at heart.
You try to mold or change the people you love into what you desire.
You don’t usually get along with most people and believe that keeping people at a distance is the only healthy way to live.
You wonder why people do not want to be friends with you and even go so far as to avoid you in social settings.
It seems like people are always out to get you but you brush this off as their hatred of you “being too real and unfiltered.”
People avoid talking to you and feel as if they have to tip toe around you so as to not hurt your feelings.
You relate with most or some of the points above and realize that you have some unresolved personal issues that you haven’t fully dealt with.
If any or some of these points apply to you then maybe it’s time to take a step back and look for some serious introspection because this negative and overly critical relationship with others stems from a serious lack of understanding of one’s own self. If you’re not in tune with your own feelings, how can you be a support system for others?
Understanding that you might be your own worst enemy is important, as this needs correcting for your and other’s sake.