The Power of Insecurity
It is evident that humans adapt to their environment and we learn from what we see and do. As such there are many things that shape our perspective, from appraisals to commands we received from our parents to various stimuli that triggered responses within our bodies, for the better or for the worse. As we get older, we disguise theses learned perspectives as our own. We keep these states of mind alive by having confidence in our frailties as we come throughout everyday life. Here are a few phrases we say to ourselves in this form of insecurity:
- You’re stupid.
- You’re ugly.
- You’re a disappointment.
- You never get anything right.
- Nobody will ever love you.
- You’re fat.
- You’re a failure.
- You’ll never make friends.
- You’ll never be able to quit drinking (smoking etc).
- You’ll never achieve anything.
- What’s the point in even attempting?
Like a harsh teacher, this voice has a tendency to get louder as we draw nearer to our objectives. “You’re going to ruin everything. Everybody will see what a disappointment you are. Simply quit before it’s past the point of no return. You shouldn’t even try” Oftentimes, we respond to these considerations before we even realize we are having them. We may become timid at a gathering, pull out from a relationship, throw the blame onto the general population around us or last out at a friend, partner or our child. Simply envision what life would resemble in the event that you didn’t hear any of these mean considerations reverberate in your mind. Envision what reality may really look like on the off chance that you could live free of this endorsed weakness.
Insecurity at Work (Pun intended)
Insecurity is able to slip into all aspects of our lives. Each individual will see their internal commentator being more vocal in some territory. For instance, you may feel really certain at work however totally lost in your love life or the other way around. You may even notice that when one area enhances, the other breaks down. A large portion of us can relate, at some time, to having self-sabotaging thoughts toward ourselves about our profession. Old sentiments that we are flawed or that we will never be recognized or acknowledged can send our uncertainties through the rooftop. Here are a few phrases we say to ourselves in this form of insecurity:
- You don’t know what you’re doing.
- Why do they expect you to do everything yourself?
- Who do you think you are? You’ll never be successful.
- You’re under too much pressure. You can’t take it.
- You’ll never complete everything. You’re so lazy.
- You should simply postpone this until tomorrow.
- Nobody acknowledges you.
- You would do well to be immaculate, or you’ll be fired.
- No one loves you here.
- Put your career first. Don’t take time for yourself.
- When are you ever going to get a real job?
- Except for these stupid people, no one would even dream of hiring you.
Insecurity in Relationships
Regardless of whether we are single, dating or in a genuine, long-haul relationship, there are numerous ways our inward voice can sneak into our romantic lives. Relationships, specifically, can stir up past damages and encounters that you’d wish to forget. They can stir weaknesses we’ve since quite a while ago covered and raise feelings we don’t anticipate. In addition, a considerable lot of us harbor unconscious fears of intimacy. Being near another person can shake us up and bring these feelings and the inward voices much nearer to the surface. Tuning in to this inward critic can do genuine harm to our personal connections. It can make us feel desperate toward our friend or reverse when we feel that things are going too fast. It can exaggerate sentiments of envy or possessiveness or leave us feeling rejected and unworthy. Here are a few phrases we say to ourselves in this form of insecurity:
- You will never find a person who truly understands you.
- Don’t get too hooked on her.
- He doesn’t think about you.
- She is too good for you.
- You’ve got to keep him interested.
- You’re better off on your own.
- The more she gets to know you, the more she will hate you.
- You must be in charge.
- It’s your fault if he gets upset.
To be continued…