Intimacy: More Than Just Sex

“We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time.”

When hearing the word intimacy, most people jump to the same conclusion: sex. Contrary to popular belief, there is more to intimacy than just sexual physical contact. Sometimes, relationships built on the foundation of mutual sexual gratification are nothing more than hormones causing temporary infatuation, and what happens when the temporary obsession with each other wears off? It feels as if something is amiss in the relationship, and that’s when the real problems with impaired emotional connections begin.

Ask yourself a question, what do you like about your relationship apart from sex? If you don’t have a good reason you may want to rethink your relationship.

Often, teenagers consider sexual forms of physical intimacy a sign of love and closeness. Many a time, one party in the relationship has manipulated the other into non-platonic contact as an expression of love. We don’t really need sex to feel closer to someone, or give importance. Relationships should be based more on emotion and compatibility than sex. We’re not asking anyone to abstain from physical contact, but to form a relationship built with trust, loyalty and devotion to each other. As always, consent remains a major issue as well.

Where are all the romantics? The people who hold hands, and cuddle on the couch when it’s cold outside? Wouldn’t it be great instead of stressing about lingerie, and what protection to use, we could choose comfort? Being emotionally vulnerable in front of someone, mutual support and just relaxing whilst watching America’s Top Next Model.


Leave your bed, and go to a carnival. Have fun with rides, take Instagram worthy pictures in the lights (the author prefers Polaroids and is concerned about the negative effects of Instagram), play silly games to win cheap stuffed toys and see how good that feels.

Go out to a bookstore and pick out books to read. Sit side by side and quietly flick through the pages, comforted by their presence. Read out loud with funny voices, try speaking in different accents. Make fun of the author, the book. Roam the aisles and try a different genre. Write letters and hide them in books for people to find. Go to libraries and museums.

Learn something new together. Try the classic past times like dancing classes, pottery, art classes etc. Learn a new language, and save up to travel to wherever it is spoken. Mastering an instrument takes time and patience, so why not teach each other, or join a class together? Charity drives and marathons are a productive way to both, spend time and give back to society.

There are a million different ways to connect with your partner and while sex is one of them, it shouldn’t be the only one.

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