The society that we live in continues to regard marriage as the universal solution to all problems. Marriage is being misconceived as an answer to everything. Financial crisis? moral crisis? identity crisis? possessed? jinxed? cursed?
Well, marriage is the answer! (That’s what we hear every day)
Marriage is where it all begins; emotional hell, divorce, broken families, emotionally abused, poorly-raised children, emotionally wrecked people, psychological issues, domestic violence, sexual abuse, murder. Hence, marriage is literally the root of all evil.
Sadly, we have romanticized the notion of matrimony to the extent that we are blind to the consequences of nurturing the idea alone, curtailing individual liberty and rendering an individual submissive for life. Personal choices are not personal anymore. Every decision of your life, no matter how personal, trivial or profound, has to have the say of another person in it.
The overemphasis on its significance and necessity reiterated through cultural practices has resulted in marriage being looked at as;
- a subjective appraisal of an individual’s attributes where in order for you to be eligible, you must meet a certain criterion to qualify as “marriage material”. Thus, Individuals are objectified, reduced and shrunk in size to fit the material box.
- a source of validation, inculcating inadequacy and vulnerability which evolves into emotional dependence in the long run because it conditions the individuals to derive validation from outside.
The institution of marriage progressively reinforces a culture of oppression against both men and women. Although women are more likely to be the passive victims, men too are emotionally victimized at the hands of this institution. The practice of marriage is embedded in a Patriarchal culture that denies women the autonomy that they are entitled to as humans deeming them merely objects or property that can be exchanged (between two families) as well as forbids the expression of vulnerability in men by encouraging masculinity alone. Therefore, men are raised under a constant social restraint to become financially independent before a certain age. While women are force-fed cultural beliefs in order to mold them into submission.
More like a “Fusion” than a “Union”, because two entities fuse into one, forgoing their individuality altered into a culturally approved entity that is obliged to submit to the society. A contract you can’t break free from until the culture allows you to. And if you go against the society, God forbid, there’s something seriously wrong with your character. Hence, you must only be addressed to as a divorcee and be shunned to save the society from your jinxed sphere of influence.
Make no mistake, this is only a preview of what follows once you are actually in a wedlock. Adhere to the cultural obligations or you’d fail your parents and blot the family name. Acknowledge that you are as worthy as what lies between your legs. if you can’t produce a child as soon as possible, a year in marriage, you are proclaimed sterile and in-fecund by the first person who hears about it.
Taking into consideration the multitude of problems that inevitably arise from marriage, it seems like the only way to avoid these is to avoid marriage altogether.
And it is comical how people fuss over monogamy and polygamy, uninformed of the futility of this very discourse.
Thoughts are welcomed in the comments below!