Do you think arranged marriages are longer lasting and generally more successful than love marriages?
Let’s take a look at how we can define arranged marriages, to simply put it, an arranged marriage is when ‘a marriage is planned and agreed upon by the families or guardians of the couple concerned’. Your parents/guardians are responsible for selecting the perfect spouse for you since they have raised you from a baby to a grown adult and thus, know you best and are therefore fully equipped to find you a person that you’re likely to enjoy the rest of your life with. The logic behind this intricate system seems to be flawless, really and those who support arranged marriages would certainly give you a few points to think about.
According to these people who support the idea of arranged marriages, such relationships last longer simply because parents spend a lot of their time carefully considering each potential partner to match for goals, aspirations, compatibility, economic stability etc and therefore, this generates a greater chance of the couple falling in love over time since there are good chances of there being a lot of common ground between the two people.
Furthermore, the decision is roughly based on pure logic and rationality (or so I’ve heard) and the passion is saved for after the knot has been tied which ensures that no decision has been made rashly. Another excellent advantage of having your marriage arranged for you is that you can rest safely in the knowledge that you’ll be saved from any tensions between your family and your in-laws since your parents are more likely to base their decision on whether they get along with your spouse’s parents or not.
However, the argument against arranged marriages rages strong; parents are not mind-readers. In many cases, they make decisions which show exactly how little they know their children. No one knows you better than your own self and therefore, only you are capable of finding your own life partner. In a love marriage, there are little to no chances of there being a grave misunderstanding since the couple spends considerable time comparing notes over what both of them want in their relationship. Instead of people meddling in your relationship if there appears to be a rift, you can talk it out with your partner as you have known them for a long time.
In arranged marriages that sometimes do fall apart, the bond between the parent and their child is also damaged since the person blames their parents for taking away their right to choose. This is something that rarely afflicts love marriages which theoretically push people to be more responsible towards their own relationship since they entered it of their own accord. The passion that is dismissed in arranged marriages, rages strong in love marriages and in many cases strengthens the relationship, making two people grow even closer to each other.
When parents simply allow their children the freedom of choice they are imparting two messages; one, that they trust their child to make good decisions and two, that they are willing to embrace whoever they choose into the family simply because their child loves that person. In this author’s personal opinion, that is the true beauty of a love match – it brings you closer to your parents as well as your spouse.
So what do you think; would you blindly trust your parents’ pick? Or would you want to choose your partner for life, all by yourself? Do let us know what you make of this!