Nice is Not Always Kind

The notion that nice is the way of living no longer holds water.

But how can a thing like “niceness” ever be harmful? What harm can possibly come from being excessively nice to others? well, it looks like Hippocrates was right all along because too much niceness is unnatural and can even become pathological.

Everything in excess is opposed to nature Hippocrates

The obsessive need to be excessively nice to everyone under all circumstances is what characterizes pathological niceness.

It may be consciously or unconsciously displayed. Some people are overly concerned about depicting an elated image of themselves in order to make people like them better and ingratiate themselves among them. However, it may also be employed as a compensatory measure. Might even be used to shield the other person from hurt or feelings of dejection that failure might induce.

For instance, not confronting a friend who might have mistreated you only out of fear of hurting his feelings no matter how badly he might have hurt you through his words or actions.

Pathological niceness includes modification of facts, euphemism or altering the facts altogether in order to come off nice. It conceals a part of reality that is concerned with determining the consequences of a particular act done by the individual that results in hindering a steady course of action; e.g,

not informing your colleague of his or her professional shortcomings in order to avoid conflict.

This might adversely affect the overall group efficiency.

Withholding information, a part of the truth or the whole truth from someone might not always benefit them. The individual remains unaware of a part of the truth if not the whole truth and might have to deal with the repercussions and come to face the reality the hard way. So, nice is not always KIND.

nice is not always kind

But how to deal with the urge to be nicer than the situation demands you to be?

It is important to understand that the necessity to be genuine and authentic exceeds the need for niceness. No matter how much our society glamorizes the idea of being nice under all circumstances, one must not forgo his honesty to ingratiate himself.

The right way to deal with the obsessive need to display nothing but niceness is to understand that there are other ways to communicate feelings and facts without having to deal with the burden hurting another person’s self-esteem rather than feigning niceness.

A reality check or a constructive criticism always helps an individual analyze and evaluate his shortcomings and work on them. Know that the best way to help people reach their potential is, to be honest with them. A little niceness, a little kindness, and a little honesty; go a long way.

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