Not the other way around
How absurd would it be if a girl proposes to a guy?
How about if she gets her family to go to the guy’s house to propose to him and to see if he is the one?
Your internal socially influenced self just wrinkled its nose right? Wondering what is she even talking about? That is absurd! why anyone would do that.
Here’s an interesting dilemma; it’s perfectly okay for the guys to fall in love, pursue a girl for marriage but it’s not possible for the girl to do so.
For the guy to finally get the girl brings the fairytale to a happy ending, it’s intriguing how we are socially trained to think of that as the acceptable and the right way to go about it. And the girl is expected to just go along with it, fall in love only when the guy does first.
For a girl to fall in love first and to take the first step is frowned upon by everyone, why? Well, because you know “larkian achi to nahi lagtin ese karte hue” this is our mantra while deciding the social roles and boundaries of females. Every single time. If a girl likes someone she should recite “astaghfirullah” and wait for her knight in the shining armor to fall in love with her and then she can direct her feelings towards that person.
It is not in any way possible for a girl to get her family to talk to a guy’s family about her wanting to marry their son; a proposal has to be from the guy’s family. Why? You know men are supposed to choose. We are okay with consent now but only when it’s our consent labeled as the girls’. The girl can obviously have feelings, but after our validation by a certain document certifying if you dare out opt out we shall label you as damaged goods.
The absurdity of the unsaid rules of our society speaks volumes for the biases we have while permitting women to express their emotions while permitting them to be human. This unfair societal frowning leads to them to internalizing guilt for merely having emotions, for being human, they get the feeling of being impure.
Is that fair? To them, to humans?
If your argument is “it has been like that for centuries” then my dear, no that is not a valid argument, it’s merely an excuse, you haven’t been here for centuries, you make your own world.
