Nothing guarantees consent except for a definite ‘YES’
Another day, another one of these absurd articles, but why no one stops to think why, we keep making these absurd articles, is truly absurd to me.
Ever since a child starts to speak, amongst the first words they learn to say are ‘yes‘ and ‘no‘, both with definite and specific meanings: there is no space left for doubt with either a yes, or a no uttered, yes means affirmative, agreement; ‘I want to’ ‘all right’ and no means denial, refusal; ‘not right now’ ‘I don’t want to’ but then why has this meaning been blurred into something ugly?
Consent has always meant to seek permission, to seek agreement, but as we inspect closer into this matter we find that most rapists argue that ‘they were unsure’ of what the victim meant when they said ‘I don’t want to’ or ‘not right now’, and there is absolutely no way both literally or metaphorically where either of those statements could translate to a ‘yes’. And this state of mind, of being unsure of what the victim meant when they denied, of no not being enough of a reason, of seeing a person walk down the street and judging them only to turn to you and say ‘Is she asking for it or what?’, of watching reports on TV and hearing people say ‘Should’ve stayed in the house if she didn’t want that to happen’ ‘She brought this on herself’ ‘Must have done something to make this happen’, of laughing and joking when the roles of genders are reversed; of not understanding that rape does not only work with man raping woman, men rape women, men rape men, women rape men, women rape women; of blaming the victim for bringing the situation upon themselves instead of holding the rapist accountable for their actions, all of this and more is rape culture.
And what a sick term, is it not? Rape Culture. Culture is something that is tradition, it is a way of living and thinking, it is humanity, it is society, it is life, and now think of rape, something so vile, so disgustingly hideous that has heads turning at just a mention, that ruins lives and minds upon infliction, an eternal source of pain and suffering, and that fact that this disgusting word is linked with people’s thinking is saddening enough.
It’s every other day you see people commenting on someone’s clothing and predicting such a future for them, and I have to ask these people, the girls who are home bound, who never leave their house unless with someone accompanying them, those girls who wear hijab and cover themselves completely, those girls who go to all female institutions and have no friendships with males whatsoever, those who are married and only accompany their husbands, why do all these people get raped? You argue that clothing and ‘khulla maahol’ is the reason for such happening, then why do these cases exist? Because the concept of consent does not sadly exist in this world, and neither does holding the fault-er at fault. Marital rape is a very real problem, ‘how could someone refuse their husband like that? Astaghfirullah!’ as much as any other rape case. If the weaker person in the situation is meant to control themselves and submit, why can the stronger not get a grip over their urges when they can see their partner is not willing?
Reluctance doesn’t guarantee consent. Silence doesn’t guarantee consent. Clothing doesn’t guarantee consent. Nothing guarantees consent except for a definite ‘yes’. A protest will always be a protest and nothing can turn it otherwise. This specific topic is not something to be taken lightly and brushed aside, we need to understand the seriousness of it and open our eyes to the reality that continues to ruin lives around us while we pursue our make believe peace and purity. The toxicity of this culture and this menace can only be eliminated through the prevalence of education; the future depends on the today, and our today has many faults that only be fixed through education. It’s time to put all of these absurd articles use at last and make a change for the better.
