When someone has been constantly tested and trialed, they may not even consider their basic entitlements and rights. In other words, a person who has been abused in early childhood has no idea about how ‘fairly’ they should be treated.
Perhaps from childhood you have been treated poorly or abused unconditionally and you know no other way. Interesting to note is that if your friend is being abused or not being given his rights, you’d be ready to sacrifice your life to help him, but the matter is altogether different in your own case.
Listen here. To take of others you must first take care of yourself. A doctor cannot heal a patient if he himself is not well.
The below is a list of what is called a ‘Personal Bill of Rights’. These are things that everyone is entitled to. Read them carefully and repeat them every day. Reflect on which ones you have acted on in your day, and note any that you find difficult.
People don’t always like change but let that be their problem and not yours. If a friend doesn’t like the more confident version of you, are they a friend worth having? Over time, people will come to admire your efforts for trying to become someone more mature, more strong and someone who is more confident. Believe in yourself and in turn people will believe in you.
Personal Bill of Rights
- I have the right to ask for what I want.
- I have the right to say “no” to requests or demands I can’t meet.
- I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.
- I have the right to change my mind.
- I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
- I have the right to follow my own standards.
- I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
- I have the right to determine my own priorities.
- I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.
- I have the right to expect honesty from others.
- I have the right to be angry at someone I love.
- I have the right to be uniquely myself.
- I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m scared.”
- I have the right to say “I don’t know.”
- I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.
- I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.
- I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.
- I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
- I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
- I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
- I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
- I have the right to change and grow.
- I have the right to have my needs and wants, respected by others.
- I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
- I have the right to be happy.
- You may be so used to being treated unfairly that you think it is normal but it is most definitely not.
- When we change ourselves, some people feel threatened. Time and voicing your needs respectfully help everyone adapt. Be honest and trusting of your friends if you want them to be the same.
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have ~ Unknown