Stages of Grief
These are the 5 stages as to how an individual accepts a situation they once couldn’t have fathomed would have overcome them. The stages of this cycle define the mental state of an individual experiencing a very common occurrence in our daily lives to which we pay no heed to and that has slowly crept into our lives and become a part of it but out of fear and the prospect of an amalgamation of factors we choose not to talk about it, that is Elders indulging in Sexual Acts revolving around our children.
Let us begin by defining these sexual acts and how does one involve children in them.
Broadly speaking, these sexual acts range from non-penetrative to penetrative sexual intercourse, and children are lulled into proceeding with these activities under various prospects discussed ahead.
Firstly, Elders use the clever tactic of calling these Sexual Acts a “game” and as well all know, children marvel and shout in glee even at the mention of “games”. Using that very same psychology these Elders manipulate the children to indulge in sexual activities under the pretext that they are playing a game and the only rules are that the children have to follow the commands of the Elder. Pretty similar to a game we are all familiar with: “Simon says”. Furthermore, the Elders also use various rewards such as delicacies: candy and chocolates, as a prize for the children if they follow through all the orders. Thus the children are compelled into repeatedly pleasuring the Elder so they receive the reward which they desire. It is worthy to note that these acts are not just committed onto female children but male children as well. No one is spared by the cruelty of this harsh world.
After hearing this, we inquire, “Why do the children not speak up? If they want to be saved they need to speak up.” The basic reason for that is because they do not know what is being done with them is wrong. For them, they are being obedient listening to the commands of their Elder even if its something they do not want to do. Although, due to the recent developments in technology children are maturing at a faster rate than previous generations and are more aware of the “adult” world around them. That leads us to the beginning of the cycle: Denial.
The children deny that such a thing is happening to them and consider it a dream though it is very much a reality and it is this denial and the constantly repeated cycle of indulging in the activity which leads them to be angry at themselves for being helpless for not being able to do anything and even if they do try to notify their parents they do not pay heed to their plea for this Elder is anyone in your immediate family, an uncle or aunt or close friends whom everyone respects and cherishes so it is quite hard to believe that someone so clean of virtue could do something so vile in nature. The children try their best to stop the Elder from committing any more sexual acts with them but the children are helpless at the mercy of the Elder who holds more authority and power in their hands. They slowly fall into a state of depression knowing they cannot do anything and they have to go through the same guilty, disgusting feeling all over again every time the Elder comes to visit. Over time, they accept the fact that they are just a doll and their master is the Elder whom they are to play with whenever they wish.
The damage done to the children and the mental scars they receive from this trauma is great. It is one of the greatest human fears to be misunderstood and when that takes place one slowly but surely loses his grip on his mind and the control he once had over his mental state and slips away into an abyss from which escape is unimaginable. Regaining oneself from such a state is near impossible and most do not hold the capability to ever recover. We need to understand every human is different and though everyone does hold the capacity to change they do not hold the power and courage needed to use their abilities with wisdom thus are left helpless to the mercy of this world.
In conclusion, it is our responsibility to repeatedly ask our children if something is wrong. We must become more vigilant of whom they involve themselves with and the people who are too frank with our children should be kept aware that if they do anything to your child there will be a price to pay. We need to build a society where these issues are not a taboo and hidden from children. We need to speak more commonly about these things so that the children feel more at ease discussing these issues with their parents. You have been subdued for so long. It’s about time you blow off some steam.
A general advice to the children
You need to speak aloud. Scream if you have to. Call on the helplines you see so publicly spread everywhere if you want someone to listen to you but do not stay silent about any acts you feel are wrong or weird or what you feel you can’t tell your parents about or feel ashamed in admitting. If you have an issue let someone who can make a change know not someone whom you trust. Someone who has the audacity to fight against these powers not just support you through the shadows.
If you are a resident of Pakistan please contact the follwing helpline for any inquiry you might have:
Child Protection & Welfare Bureau
If there is no struggle,
There is no progress ~ Frederick Douglass