Not only is it not an uncommon occurrence to be called a lesbian in the prosperous state of Pakistan, people (mostly men) hurl it as a form of insult towards women.
It is noteworthy that when a female prefers to be friends with other females, she is thought to be prudish, or a lesbian – the former usually meant as an insult. However, if the same female chooses to spend her time among her male peers, all of society will choose to look down from their mighty thrones and deem her a slut, impure, spoiled and slam her with cultural and religious values.
It is often the case that when a girl does not want to hang out with a guy and turns him down, he resorts to labeling her as homosexual, disregarding his own personality and any other factors that may have led to her repudiation. Is it a matter of ego that does not allow him to see any of his own faults, an ego that cannot stand the formation of healthy female friendships? We might never know, for the patriarchy is bound to tape our mouths shut too.
As stated above, do our people understand that females can be friends? However, the focus is mostly upon pitting females against each other from a rather young age. Imagine what could happen if we all threw down our hypothetical aprons – because we will always belong in the kitchen – and stopped listening to the bullshit that we have been fed.
The notion that women are envious of gorgons, who will always remain in competition with other women, is a myth that needs to be taken down.
When it comes to being homosexual, men in the country are a whole lot more fragile about their sexuality than females.
If a heartfelt hug between two friends is considered gay, we can ascertain men have no idea what having a group of female friends is like.
Girls can walk around partially undressed in front of other girls without being concerned about their sexuality. They can snuggle, cuddle, share clothes, hug, and eat together – from one plate no less! Going to restrooms together is a norm, and talking through different showers of the same bathing room. My friends and I thoroughly endorse lying down in the grassy grounds of our university, sometimes with our heads in each other’s laps. We put our arms around each other in public, because friends do that. Women already have a truckload of problems to be concerned about, like the wage gap, climate change, politics etc. They don’t need to put each other down any more than men do.
Besides, the same men who sneer the word lesbian as if it’s an affront, are the ones jerking off to lesbian porn at night. Pakistan has one of the highest viewership of porn in the world, and if you believe they don’t search up lesbians, you’re either terribly innocent or lying.
“I won’t watch the movie with the two gay guys, because that’s…weird and disgusting. But I’ll watch that movie with the two girls getting it on, that’s hot,” is part of a real conversation the author had to listen to.
Foregoing from addressing our internalized homophobia, it is crucial for girls to be friends with girls rather than the stereotypical females often portrayed on tv; the bitchy, snobby, fighting over a guy type.
To all the girls out there who’ve been called lesbian; to hell with the men, go make friends with other girls who’ll take you on shopping trips, and rant about how the world treats women without any feelings being hurt. You don’t need this added sexism into your life.