Taking care of (Old) Friends

They’ve seen us sob over the passing of our goldfish and laugh so hard that our abs are sore the next day. Be that as it may, now that we’re all “busy,” it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of brand new social circles and forget all about our old ones (which is quite unfortunate). The tips below will help you keep those old ties strong by being honest, forgiving, and supportive (and generally a nice friend).

Chill and try to Understand

So Taimoor forgot to wish you Happy Birthday and Dominic never gave you a gift or Saad never showed up on the birthday party that you hosted. So what? As hurtful as their seeming lack of interest might be, don’t take it to heart, cut them some slack –we are all humans. Rather than accepting they’ve turned out to be mean or simply couldn’t care less about your relationship any longer (which isn’t true in the slightest), consider that they may very well be busy with work or family obligations (just like you).

Truth Always

People always like individuals who speak the truth and a shallow relationship typically doesn’t last long. When a friend asks you a question about a new job or relationship, try to be as open as possible. You’ll build a sense of trust, and your friend will be likely to reciprocate with honesty about their own life.

Be virtually present

Despite the fact that social media can’t substitute for real friendships, Facebook can actually be a great way to strengthen old ties. Posting on someone’s wall to congratulate them on admission to graduate school or the like can be really meaningful and leave a lasting impact. Bonding done over virtual reality is just as effective as done in real life.

Talk briefly, but often

A situation we are all more than familiar with: We receive a message or text from an old friend, and then put off responding to it until we have the time and attention span to write a novel-length response (i.e. never). A better plan is to send frequent, short messages or responses so you stay in the loop about each other’s lives and never go too long without an update.

Call them

When we get back home from a taxing day of work and errands, we may have little vitality left for a catch-up session. Be that as it may, just a call to the friend, of not more than a minute or two, is more than enough to make you both feel satisfied and feel like you have “caught up”.

Go with the flow

Instead of worrying about the fact that things will never be the way you want them to (but why can’t we stay up all night drinking water and discussing the meaning of life?), focus on what you guys have in common now. Be supportive of your friend’s new lifestyle, and remember that they are still the same person.